:: archives
:: categories
:: wp plugins
© 2008, silpstream
Friday, 19th August 2005
Lately life has been getting really wierd for me. I dunno what I am doing sometimes and I can't seem to be satisfied with where I am. Now when I wake up it seems the first thing I say is:
'Sibei Sian!!! Kana!!! Dunno why I bother to get out of bed!!!'
Of course I eventually do and I crawl out from under my sheets and get ready for work. The day then passes on and I get my job stuff done. Somewhere through the middle of the day I normally exclaim to myself:
'Cheebye!!! What the lanciao am I doing??? No inspiration and nothing to look forward to!!!'
Then I continue with the days routine and get things done. For some reason as the day moves on I normally get more energy to do the work and can work more efficiently. I think I never really got over the whole university life crap where we tend to work better at night and sleep through the day. I keep going on like that until I'm finally fristrated and decided that it is time to go home. However, for some reason, going home just isn't the sort of pleasure that it used to be. On my drive home I always wonder:
'Go home for what??? Nothing to go home to!!! Face four walls, watch TV and pah chiu cheng...'
'Sianz siah!!!'
When I sit down to think about all this I really wonder. I wonder WTF has happened. I should be happy. I think I've got most of what I want. A place to stay, a okay job, a nice car... dun need to worry about cash to much... So what happened???
Dunno... just lonely lah!!! Maybe because no cha bor here with me. Life boring lah when everything is done alone and no one to share it with. Basically got nothing to look forward to since everything else is so stable.
Then again I'm not sure if that is the case. Cha bor are problematic also. God knows I have trouble keeping up relationships, and now I cannot even be bothered to try to get involved. I sort of like and hate the fact that I am alone.
Confused... How???
